At work today, according to Kim, God was misting us. I added that then he would stop, refill the bottle and come at us again. She laughed and said later that he was peeing down on us when it started raining even harder. “Remember to take your stuff home today. Notice I said ‘take’”, she meant my fuschia plant and garden planning plastic wheels that had managed to make it through the 40% off and a week of the 60% off sale. My eyes were fine today.

I played God with the ants this afternoon, keeping myself amused for literally hours. I noticed a few little ants wandering near the trash pot and decided they needed to eat some Cool Nestea so I poured some on the floor from the bottle I found in the trash. Unfortunately, I caused a flood and had to justify the murder of a few ants by saying that so many more would get to eat as a result. Boy did they eat…The wanderers brought back the colony and after they cleared out the first puddle I poured them some more. (without killing any this time) Since tea gets boring without food I dumped a little pile of non-dairy creamer nearby and stuck a chunk of teriyaki chicken next to that. They ate better than I did… I noticed that the flies hanging out lethargically on the floor would flap away if an ant strolled up into its face. Wimps.

The semi-normal, day-to-day life of a female Marine