I’ve attracted fine example of a commenter who thinks he can be stupid online and get away with it. He posted his smelly garbage on this old article about the flexed-arm hang:
Submitted on 2012/06/26 at 20:10
“ahahahahahahaha. wook. hey jane warrior, you sound really badass. female marines are soooo cool. you guys are like real warfighters right? “i need help getting on the bar, my tampon might slip out”. get the fuck back in the kitchen bitch.”
“Ryan” was a dumb commenter. He used a valid email address, and in 15 seconds I used it to pull up his unsecured Facebook profile which showed me his full name and his wife’s name. Then I Googled the email address and the first result contained his cell phone number. Since his Facebook page had photos indicating he’s a Marine, I looked up his name in the Marine Corps-wide email system, but he wasn’t there. He appears to be mortarman in the photos and from what I hear, grunts don’t usually get email accounts.
Oddly appropriate Terminal Lance cartoon from last month.
Had he been in the directory, it could have showed me his rank, unit, military email address, work address, and work phone number. Using that data, I could have found his supervisor’s contact information and called to tell them they work with an idiot.
So, commenters, either BE POLITE, or be smart enough to hide the trail of crumbs I can use to follow you back through the Internet and hit you over the head with a tampon. Because those totally fall out when we do the flexed-arm hang. Might as well use them for something.
EDIT: During drill weekend I realized that he didn’t need to have an official email address in order for me to find him. I just looked up his name in Marine Online and it gave me all of the information I mentioned above. It also confirmed my guess that he was a mortarman. It turns out that the first name he uses on Facebook is really his middle name, but that wasn’t a problem at all.
He’s the only Marine in the ENTIRE MARINE CORPS with his last name.
Now that I actually have his work phone number and address staring at me from the computer screen, it’s tempting to call or to send a friendly postcard…